Doing it Afraid

FEAR
/fɪə/
noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
verb
be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.

Have you ever watched a movie and you were terrified by it? Well, except for horror movie lovers, many of us have dealt with something like that in the course of our lives. Fear is an emotion everyone deals with now and then. It’s often masked in denial, procrastination, and even pretense because it is perceived as a negative emotion. It’s not like being happy or even numb. No one wants to identify with being afraid as it is often seen as a weakness and an indicator that one is inadequately prepared.

False Evidence Appearing Real – the idea that fear is just an illusion.

I’ve known this acronym since secondary school and it made sense at the time but growing up, life has shown me that although fear can be based on assumptions and uncertainty, it could also be based on things and situations that are as real as day.

Fear is real.

It could be a response to trauma from a similar situation or person, it could be a new task that you have never done before, it could be learning a new language or starting a new career, it really could be anything and these are real reasons to be afraid.
Fear manifests in many stages, it could range from being just a little afraid to being literally crippled by it. It can be that little anxiety or fleeting thought you try to block out before you do your presentation or that overwhelming moment when you’re frozen from hearing a certain voice or seeing a certain person.

Handling being afraid is a life skill that we have to learn in order to move on and face the future. I want to start by saying fear as an emotion is valid, don’t let anyone tell you that being afraid is a weakness. It is not. We must allow ourselves to feel afraid but be careful not to get swallowed by it.

As earlier stated, fear can be a result of a bad experience and there shouldn’t be any rush in trying to get over it. The first step is to process the feeling. Identify what the problem is by asking yourself questions like;
Why/ what is making me so afraid? 
It could be that you’re scared of the implications of your actions or inactions or even that of someone else. I remember when I had jitters every day for about two weeks about an exam that I was about to take. I thought I was scared of writing the exam (exam fever obv) but what I was actually scared of was failing the exam. That brings me to my next point, you have to ask yourself what steps you can take to help you get through this.

Will talking to someone about how you’re feeling help? 
Do you need to take a step back to re-evaluate why you want to do this thing that’s scaring the shit out of you? 
Or would a drink help?

(Disclaimer – Be careful with vices, they can be risky too).

Do whatever you need to do to stay sane and not consistently lose your cool at the thought of the problem. If yours is a case of any kind of abuse or bullying, please do not hesitate to talk to someone who can help or report the issue. You can’t stay afraid forever, you deserve to truly live.

Make peace with the outcome. This may seem like a very unfair thing to say but sooner or later, we all get to realize that nothing about life is fair, e no balance and that’s why you need to brace up and do what you need to do, bearing in mind the consequences and outcomes. Talk is cheap, you might say, but if your dilemma is asking that lady to marry you, you’d either get a yes or a no, or a "not now" if you make room for grey areas. If it’s an exam, you can either pass or fail. It would be beyond exhilarating to pass but what if you fail, what do you do then? Cause sometimes you will fail and it’s better to be prepared for it than not prepare at all.

Finally, Just do it!

Facing one’s fear is never easy, it could come with mental and even physical effects, you could find yourself struggling with a running stomach, super sweaty or incredibly jumpy because you want to disappear from a situation so bad; the fight-or-flight response. But there comes that moment you decide if you would face it upfront or take an alternate route. Facing it can be very helpful, you push past the scare and find out there was no reason to be that afraid in the first place or that you’re okay anyway. 
We move, right?
Being afraid may not change the outcome of what you need to do but how you manage the fear and go about the situation are the main determinants. 
This article speaks to me in more personal ways and I hope that it helps someone out there who may be sick to their stomach because they’re afraid. You’re not alone. 
Here’s to living life and doing more even if we have to do it afraid.